Hello people..sorry..Hello friends,
I am 99% disgusted! Does anyone understand what is going on out there?? Not me. We just had this 18 month long series of debates and elections to determine who would be the person most fit to lead our nation. Well now he's in there and in less than one month he has spent equal to 1 million dollars for for every day since the birth of Christ! When I was born, you could have bought General Motors for one million dollars! When my great grandfather was born you could have bought the entire western half of the United States of America for one million dollars! These days you can't even get a skinny blond to sing for one million dollars. Okay, I am a small thinker. If I won the lottery, I would have to give away all but maybe 5 million. Of course after five days, I guess I'd be broke, what with the cost of living. Assuming I'm just simple minded, lets say we need 700 billion dollars to right the economy. O-KAY! A diverse organization comprised of geniuses, arrived at this number. How? I'm guessing, a number this large must have been derived by utilizing a multiplying factor, like for instance, the number of nose hairs on a blind buffalo. Or is it buffaloe? Help me out, Quayle! If you were planning a project, like building a tower or a barn or an airport or something, wouldn't you account for the things you would need? How much cement, windows, two by fours, lights, asphalt, manpower etc, etc, etc? Well wouldn't you?! I guess that's what they did. Maybe they determined that this money should be used to create jobs for the same people who had lost jobs. Maybe they planned to stimulate big and small business, thereby creating those jobs. Or maybe they just listened to any crackpot who had his hand out. $40 million to study sheep burping, 60 million to protect the little picas in the desert hills from global warming. There are endless numbers of idiotic ideas being funded. You know, if they didn't need all of that money, they could just put some of it back!! But, I know of some worthy ideas! Some I have mentioned before, so I will repeat. Lucky you!
1. Build a pipeline from flood prone cities to drought prone cities. When the floods come, send the excess water to Georgia. We never have enough. Put turbines inside the pipeline to use for hydro energy.Release water into streams for trout fishing. I've never seen a trout, fishing. Or whistling. Nor have I seen a horse, fly. Olive Oil used to sing, "Did you ever see a dream, walking? Well, I did" The water could provide rapids for rafting and eventually water for drinking, for restaurants, car washes and anyone who needs it. This would be invaluable!
2. Build a wall, not a fence, but a wall, across the Mexican border. This would take years and lots of building materials and workers. This would be no ordinary wall. This wall would be of biblical proportions. It would contain housing, a mall. a jail, schools, government buildings, a stadium. If the ball goes over the wall, just leave it. It would be a linear city. You could show drive in movies on this wall. You have surveillance cameras all along and precinct stations all along the top of the wall. You have a Krispy Creme Donut shop and a Starbucks every 5 miles. If someone approaches the wall, they are first issued a verbal warning by loud speaker. Then they are shot with paintball guns, to let them know they are in range. Then, if they do not retreat. we shoot them with the real stuff. Of course they can come through proper channels and be considered for admission as legal aliens. We build a small enclosed city where they can live and work and prove themselves. Only 500 at a time can be admitted and they must remain there for one year before they are allowed to enter the Magic Kingdom of the United States of America. Yes, I think we should change that from United States of America, to the Magic Kingdom of the United States of America. The MKUSA.
3. Develop small cities to work within themselves. In my senior year in high school, I worked at a place called Grant City South. It was named after the anchor store which was Grants department store. It didn't function like a city. It was just a shopping center. But, you could build a city around a 3-story Super Fine WalMart store. You feature moderately priced apartments on the second floor. About 40% of the inhabitants would work in the store. All of your shopping needs would be met in-house. There would be a subway/elevated train for those who worked outside the complex. The first stop would be a park and ride if you chose to keep your car. The third floor would feature luxury townhomes. There would be some middle and upscale resturants, a swimming pool, a theater and tennis courts. Everything you need would be right there. What could be better? Okay, you could have WalMart By The Sea on the Florida coast.
4. Stop paying farmers to not grow stuff! Start paying them to grow things we need. If jobs are scarce and people are working for minimum wages, why can't we just give them the food and put some to work on those farms. Why can't we use this money to teach people some skills?
Okay, this is not fun reading is it? I'm sorry. I really am, but I have to write what's on my mind and humor just took a vacation. I probably wouldn't be writing at all if I hadn't just watched ............... Dead Poet Society.
It's a movie with Robin Williams and Ethan Hawke. If you are a "House" fan, Ethan is the guy who plays Wilson, the only friend of Dr. House. He always plays this conflicted, tormented, character. It's a film about this unconventional prep school teacher (Williams) who is trying to teach the students to be themselves, to think for themselves, to achieve what they are here for. Unfortunately, for most of the students, their parents have so strong of a hold on them that they can not break free and become what they ought. If you watch it, you might want to turn it off after the part where he gets the lead in a local play. It's get sad after that, but it's a good movie.
I am tired of not being funny. Right now my life is good but not very funny.
This too will pass! Good night loved ones!.
Saturday, February 28, 2009
Friday, February 20, 2009
Elvis is dead and I'm not feeling so well myself!
Hello friends,
I know, I borrowed the title from Lewis Grizzard. I don't think he'd mind. I hope someone is stealing my stuff 15 years after I die! There is a Lewis Grizzard tribute show on tour now. How about that, Lewis impersonators. No relation, bytheway.
Not feeling well? I'm healthy. I just don't feel like writing, but I thought you might feel like reading. I just haven't been sufficiently disgusted lately. It's awful! I went to the dentist last Tuesday. Wendy was my hygienist again. I had a polishing appointment. First thing she asked was, did I have gas? I said, No, I've been on a special diet lately. Oh, she said would I like gas? No, I have some. I think I can get thru polishing without gas! Of course she didn't tell me she was going to do acupuncture on my gums. She took this dart and stuck it into my gums at every tooth until she either hit enamel or struck gold. Then she got the water hammer and lasered all the tartar off that had built up since the other week when I was there. No funny thoughts came to me. They were playing country music. Songs like:
I wuz datin' this gurl name Muriel,
She put Jack Daniels in her cereal.
But when she put raspberry in her tea,
Bubba, that's the last she heard from me!
Cause we don't do things like that in the South!
I wus drivin this old beater,
with jist a radio and a heater.
And I thought I'd get me a new set a wheels.
This sales gurl there named Rhonda,
Said I'd look cute in a yellow Honda
And I said yeah, and a nice pair of orange high heels.
Cause we just don't do things like that in the South!
I was powerful hungry and wanted some grub
I grabbed the waiter and said Listen Bub!
I don't want no artichoke hearts or antilope brain.
I want a Big juicy steak and make it plain
And a baked tater and Listen here, Jane!
That's the way we do things in the South!
Oh well. One of the goals of this blog was to empty my mind. I think I've gone too far! I knew this would happen.
If this one didn't tickle your gizzard, read one of the older post again!
Night y'all!
I know, I borrowed the title from Lewis Grizzard. I don't think he'd mind. I hope someone is stealing my stuff 15 years after I die! There is a Lewis Grizzard tribute show on tour now. How about that, Lewis impersonators. No relation, bytheway.
Not feeling well? I'm healthy. I just don't feel like writing, but I thought you might feel like reading. I just haven't been sufficiently disgusted lately. It's awful! I went to the dentist last Tuesday. Wendy was my hygienist again. I had a polishing appointment. First thing she asked was, did I have gas? I said, No, I've been on a special diet lately. Oh, she said would I like gas? No, I have some. I think I can get thru polishing without gas! Of course she didn't tell me she was going to do acupuncture on my gums. She took this dart and stuck it into my gums at every tooth until she either hit enamel or struck gold. Then she got the water hammer and lasered all the tartar off that had built up since the other week when I was there. No funny thoughts came to me. They were playing country music. Songs like:
I wuz datin' this gurl name Muriel,
She put Jack Daniels in her cereal.
But when she put raspberry in her tea,
Bubba, that's the last she heard from me!
Cause we don't do things like that in the South!
I wus drivin this old beater,
with jist a radio and a heater.
And I thought I'd get me a new set a wheels.
This sales gurl there named Rhonda,
Said I'd look cute in a yellow Honda
And I said yeah, and a nice pair of orange high heels.
Cause we just don't do things like that in the South!
I was powerful hungry and wanted some grub
I grabbed the waiter and said Listen Bub!
I don't want no artichoke hearts or antilope brain.
I want a Big juicy steak and make it plain
And a baked tater and Listen here, Jane!
That's the way we do things in the South!
Oh well. One of the goals of this blog was to empty my mind. I think I've gone too far! I knew this would happen.
If this one didn't tickle your gizzard, read one of the older post again!
Night y'all!
Wednesday, February 4, 2009
My Day Off!
Hi guys!
I hope you remember that when I greet you as guys, I don't just mean men. That would be weird and I'm not weird! Not weird, weird anyway. I worked 4, 10 hours shifts at the end of my regular week so I could have five glorious day off! Yea-a! Here's how the first one went. It starts at 3:49 a.m. when the power goes out. So we set the alarm on our cell phones. Rusty lets us know that he wants to go outside to do his thing, which is okay, because he's a dog. I don't know what he does when we sleep all night. I guess I do! The power comes back on about 4:37. We get up at five. It's minus 19 degrees outside. We drive downtown. I let my wife out at the Emory-Crawford Not-For- Long Hospital entrance. These modern hospitals change their names more than Elizabeth Taylor. She'll have the baby and I'll pick her up about 11:30 for lunch. Kidding! I forgot to mention, she was getting a lap band! I was against it at first, but then I realized it was not anything like a lap dance. I'm still not sure what that is. They don't do those at Chili's! Fortunately! One of the waitresses there reminds me of the Ma Kettle look-alike that was my first stewardess on an airplane. Since they don't have those in taxis. I let her out of the car and using my keen senses, I back up, to go around the car parked in front of me. I back into an Acura or something. Our plastic fenders kiss, a lingering kiss, until I pulled forward a little. A short, well dressed older (than me) fellow jumps out and says what are you trying to do? So, I silently wonder if he is a doctor. I explain that my cabin cruiser has a trunk height of about five feet, while his headlights barely miss the ground, therefore, it being dark, I did not see him. The other explanation would have to be, that I knew he was there, and being "Wild at Heart" or under heavy sedation I decided to push him out of the way, because my day was just not exciting enough. Anyway, he softened up like a teddy bear. He said, I think your car is okay. Well, lucky for you..my lawyer is hungry and will eat you alive! We actually developed a nice relationship. Nice running into you, Vince! Next time, we'll do breakfast. I then proceeded the wrong way into the parking garage. If you know me, that's my basic MO. It was easily corrected. The cones weren't important anyway. I find a parking space and begin trying to find my way into the building. Being a manly man, I take the stairs. Each flight has a door with a sign describing what is on the other side. Very confusing. I finally get to one and find the secret door to the building. Maybe if I played video games, I would be better at this, Shoot all of the people - run around the corner - shoot those people, get on the elevator. They have very nice, well made signs at the elevators on each floor. I know because I read them all. I'm trying to get to the "L" floor. The elevator only goes to K. So I think maybe it isn't an "l" but an "I". Nope, that's not it. I finally see that you must cross the bridge on the "F" floor. So I do. Then I attempt to go up to the "L" floor. Only the "L" floor is down for "LOBBY". People are walking through the hallways and getting on elevators, so I play, "guess who the doctor is" My personal MD looks like a doctor. He is a kind older Christian gentleman. I like him. He's everything you want a doctor to be, except punctual. I guess he could take less patients, but then he would have to charge more money. It's a matter of whose time is worth more, mine or his. I guess, his. I finally find my place. I wait for two hours. That's 120 minutes or 4 sitcoms. Only there's no TV. Just this big plasma screen like the airports have, showing patient status, only I have no clue how to read it. Arrivals, I understand would be new babies! But departures are a little unnerving! There were a couple of Whoops! And one, "Hey y'all watch this"! I got to go back for about five minutes to see Cheryl before she went to surgery. There was a guy with some sort of a motor head doo-rag on his head putting an IV in her arm and making small talk. That could be his Harley parked out by the men's room. A lady joined the group. Could she be the doctor? Nope, maybe the social director. She said they planned to have about fifteen spectators in the room for educational purposes, perhaps to spur them into a life of medical majesty! They would get better results if they toured the doctors parking lot where all of the BMW's and Hummers and Ferarris are parked. Then do a tour of homes and view vacation slides on the big plasma screen. Instead they all piled into the OR to watch this thriller! They probably had Varsity chili dogs and rings all around, with FOJ's for everyone! Pass the onions. Hey, you got mustard on my thorax splitter! Okay 5 hours or so later I got the beep. You get beepers, just like Chili's. Then you go to the phone and they tell you how to get there. I got lost again, but otherwise I would never have seen a colonoscopy. Bytheway everyone should go on a liquid diet at least two weeks before having one of those! The Varsity chili dogs didn't help either! When I did find Cheryl she looked just great! First thing I wonder is how much weight she has lost so far? She gained about 6 pounds because they make you drink 3 liters, or do they just pour it in through one of the seven incisions (The Magnificent Seven). I suppose we could play connect the dots later. They pump your abdomen full of air. Helium would be even better. I'd like to see that! Then they stick a TV camera in there and some other things including an innertube thing that you can add water to and make it smaller! I wonder if the doctor has a private stock of OR bloopers. I need doctor friends. The doctor said he would give me a fifteen minute head start to pull the car around. Ha ha! I can do it in five! I find the car with no trouble. Of course I am carrying a black ladies purse, make that a ladies black purse which goes well with my slimline black shirt. I wonder should I put it in the bag, so it doesn't look suspicious. Then I decide it would look even more suspicious if people see me trying to hide it, so I don't. I find the car, no problem, pay and exit the parking deck, no problem! But then I find myself on the street behind the hospital, with no mapquest or GPS and only 4 minutes to go. I feel naked! Okay, I figure I'll just drive to Buckhead, turn around in the Lenox parking lot and swing right back into the Emory-Crawford Not-For-Long Hospital entrance. I slide in right on time. We get my wife back in the car. the rest of the evening is pop sickles, jello and Lojack Elixir. That stuff puts you out.
In case you're really concerned about Cheryl, she is fine! The doctors said she did great! The procedure went well. It's a little hard to get up and down and walk after playing mumbly-peg on your stomach. I will be home with her the next 4 days and am grateful for the opportunity. There are plenty of other things that could be written, but I enjoy sleeping with both eyes closed, so I let it be! The hospital gets top marks, even though they are a little hard to navigate. I would not hesitate to go there again, as a visitor. When the doctor did come out, he looked like a guy that would work in a home theater store or something. And if you have no idea what mumbly peg is, it probably isn't what you think. In the mid evil days, when I was in Junior High, we played this game where you faced your opponent, about two feet apart. You then pulled out your pocket knives and took turns throwing them near your opponents feet. I think you had to move your foot to where the knife landed or something. I'm not sure what the point of the game was, but I think part of it was to show how brave (translate stupid) you were and to not get your foot pinned to the ground. Also you were to show how expert you were with the knife. Some adult usually objected before medical attention was required. A knife was no more unusual to have in your pocket than a comb, which proved more injurous than any pointed instrument! We played some game where you balanced a comb on the back of your hand and the opponent tried to grab it and scratch your hand with it before you could pull it away. After 4 or 5 scratches, it got pretty ugly. How's that for a oxymoron? I practiced the art of knife throwing at home with a 7" bowie knife. I bought this knife because my locker-mate who had the same birthday as mine, September 15 (write that down y'all), would buy anything. I brought it to school once to show it to him. This kind of knife, you don't take to school! He stuck it up on the homeroom teachers desk! Of course it was removed before she got back. My parents found out I had bought the knife for the purpose of selling, and made me keep it. So, I practiced throwing it at an oak tree in our front yard. Over time, I made a whelp about a foot wide and two feet tall. I never learned to throw it properly, but even if I hit you with the butt, it could knock you out! About 35 years later my dad mentioned something about that tree in our front yard that became diseased , so I had to clear it up for him. One of the most difficult words to spell phonetically in the English language is "diseased". It is almost a conundrum, which is also hard to spell. I'll bet you could spell it 10 different ways and it would still be pronounced dee-zeeze.
Done now?
Hope you have a nice night. I plan not to get up before 6:30 am this time!
Love you all!
I hope you remember that when I greet you as guys, I don't just mean men. That would be weird and I'm not weird! Not weird, weird anyway. I worked 4, 10 hours shifts at the end of my regular week so I could have five glorious day off! Yea-a! Here's how the first one went. It starts at 3:49 a.m. when the power goes out. So we set the alarm on our cell phones. Rusty lets us know that he wants to go outside to do his thing, which is okay, because he's a dog. I don't know what he does when we sleep all night. I guess I do! The power comes back on about 4:37. We get up at five. It's minus 19 degrees outside. We drive downtown. I let my wife out at the Emory-Crawford Not-For- Long Hospital entrance. These modern hospitals change their names more than Elizabeth Taylor. She'll have the baby and I'll pick her up about 11:30 for lunch. Kidding! I forgot to mention, she was getting a lap band! I was against it at first, but then I realized it was not anything like a lap dance. I'm still not sure what that is. They don't do those at Chili's! Fortunately! One of the waitresses there reminds me of the Ma Kettle look-alike that was my first stewardess on an airplane. Since they don't have those in taxis. I let her out of the car and using my keen senses, I back up, to go around the car parked in front of me. I back into an Acura or something. Our plastic fenders kiss, a lingering kiss, until I pulled forward a little. A short, well dressed older (than me) fellow jumps out and says what are you trying to do? So, I silently wonder if he is a doctor. I explain that my cabin cruiser has a trunk height of about five feet, while his headlights barely miss the ground, therefore, it being dark, I did not see him. The other explanation would have to be, that I knew he was there, and being "Wild at Heart" or under heavy sedation I decided to push him out of the way, because my day was just not exciting enough. Anyway, he softened up like a teddy bear. He said, I think your car is okay. Well, lucky for you..my lawyer is hungry and will eat you alive! We actually developed a nice relationship. Nice running into you, Vince! Next time, we'll do breakfast. I then proceeded the wrong way into the parking garage. If you know me, that's my basic MO. It was easily corrected. The cones weren't important anyway. I find a parking space and begin trying to find my way into the building. Being a manly man, I take the stairs. Each flight has a door with a sign describing what is on the other side. Very confusing. I finally get to one and find the secret door to the building. Maybe if I played video games, I would be better at this, Shoot all of the people - run around the corner - shoot those people, get on the elevator. They have very nice, well made signs at the elevators on each floor. I know because I read them all. I'm trying to get to the "L" floor. The elevator only goes to K. So I think maybe it isn't an "l" but an "I". Nope, that's not it. I finally see that you must cross the bridge on the "F" floor. So I do. Then I attempt to go up to the "L" floor. Only the "L" floor is down for "LOBBY". People are walking through the hallways and getting on elevators, so I play, "guess who the doctor is" My personal MD looks like a doctor. He is a kind older Christian gentleman. I like him. He's everything you want a doctor to be, except punctual. I guess he could take less patients, but then he would have to charge more money. It's a matter of whose time is worth more, mine or his. I guess, his. I finally find my place. I wait for two hours. That's 120 minutes or 4 sitcoms. Only there's no TV. Just this big plasma screen like the airports have, showing patient status, only I have no clue how to read it. Arrivals, I understand would be new babies! But departures are a little unnerving! There were a couple of Whoops! And one, "Hey y'all watch this"! I got to go back for about five minutes to see Cheryl before she went to surgery. There was a guy with some sort of a motor head doo-rag on his head putting an IV in her arm and making small talk. That could be his Harley parked out by the men's room. A lady joined the group. Could she be the doctor? Nope, maybe the social director. She said they planned to have about fifteen spectators in the room for educational purposes, perhaps to spur them into a life of medical majesty! They would get better results if they toured the doctors parking lot where all of the BMW's and Hummers and Ferarris are parked. Then do a tour of homes and view vacation slides on the big plasma screen. Instead they all piled into the OR to watch this thriller! They probably had Varsity chili dogs and rings all around, with FOJ's for everyone! Pass the onions. Hey, you got mustard on my thorax splitter! Okay 5 hours or so later I got the beep. You get beepers, just like Chili's. Then you go to the phone and they tell you how to get there. I got lost again, but otherwise I would never have seen a colonoscopy. Bytheway everyone should go on a liquid diet at least two weeks before having one of those! The Varsity chili dogs didn't help either! When I did find Cheryl she looked just great! First thing I wonder is how much weight she has lost so far? She gained about 6 pounds because they make you drink 3 liters, or do they just pour it in through one of the seven incisions (The Magnificent Seven). I suppose we could play connect the dots later. They pump your abdomen full of air. Helium would be even better. I'd like to see that! Then they stick a TV camera in there and some other things including an innertube thing that you can add water to and make it smaller! I wonder if the doctor has a private stock of OR bloopers. I need doctor friends. The doctor said he would give me a fifteen minute head start to pull the car around. Ha ha! I can do it in five! I find the car with no trouble. Of course I am carrying a black ladies purse, make that a ladies black purse which goes well with my slimline black shirt. I wonder should I put it in the bag, so it doesn't look suspicious. Then I decide it would look even more suspicious if people see me trying to hide it, so I don't. I find the car, no problem, pay and exit the parking deck, no problem! But then I find myself on the street behind the hospital, with no mapquest or GPS and only 4 minutes to go. I feel naked! Okay, I figure I'll just drive to Buckhead, turn around in the Lenox parking lot and swing right back into the Emory-Crawford Not-For-Long Hospital entrance. I slide in right on time. We get my wife back in the car. the rest of the evening is pop sickles, jello and Lojack Elixir. That stuff puts you out.
In case you're really concerned about Cheryl, she is fine! The doctors said she did great! The procedure went well. It's a little hard to get up and down and walk after playing mumbly-peg on your stomach. I will be home with her the next 4 days and am grateful for the opportunity. There are plenty of other things that could be written, but I enjoy sleeping with both eyes closed, so I let it be! The hospital gets top marks, even though they are a little hard to navigate. I would not hesitate to go there again, as a visitor. When the doctor did come out, he looked like a guy that would work in a home theater store or something. And if you have no idea what mumbly peg is, it probably isn't what you think. In the mid evil days, when I was in Junior High, we played this game where you faced your opponent, about two feet apart. You then pulled out your pocket knives and took turns throwing them near your opponents feet. I think you had to move your foot to where the knife landed or something. I'm not sure what the point of the game was, but I think part of it was to show how brave (translate stupid) you were and to not get your foot pinned to the ground. Also you were to show how expert you were with the knife. Some adult usually objected before medical attention was required. A knife was no more unusual to have in your pocket than a comb, which proved more injurous than any pointed instrument! We played some game where you balanced a comb on the back of your hand and the opponent tried to grab it and scratch your hand with it before you could pull it away. After 4 or 5 scratches, it got pretty ugly. How's that for a oxymoron? I practiced the art of knife throwing at home with a 7" bowie knife. I bought this knife because my locker-mate who had the same birthday as mine, September 15 (write that down y'all), would buy anything. I brought it to school once to show it to him. This kind of knife, you don't take to school! He stuck it up on the homeroom teachers desk! Of course it was removed before she got back. My parents found out I had bought the knife for the purpose of selling, and made me keep it. So, I practiced throwing it at an oak tree in our front yard. Over time, I made a whelp about a foot wide and two feet tall. I never learned to throw it properly, but even if I hit you with the butt, it could knock you out! About 35 years later my dad mentioned something about that tree in our front yard that became diseased , so I had to clear it up for him. One of the most difficult words to spell phonetically in the English language is "diseased". It is almost a conundrum, which is also hard to spell. I'll bet you could spell it 10 different ways and it would still be pronounced dee-zeeze.
Done now?
Hope you have a nice night. I plan not to get up before 6:30 am this time!
Love you all!
Monday, February 2, 2009
Willie B or won't he?
Hi guys!
I haven't written anything intellectual in a while, so I think I'll stick with that. I have let more people in my life, my business, my personal stuff in the last 5 weeks than I have for the last 25 years. The latest is the dietitian. What do you have to do to be a dietitian? I suppose if you grew up in Dietician Republic you could claim to be a dietitian and skip all of the school. My doctor said mix the lime with the coconut, make you feel better, mix the lime with the coconut and call me in the morning (Harry Nielsen). No, he said run from potatoes!(help me Quayle) That way you get the exercise and you don't eat the potatoes. He also said no cokes or tea. Now you know when he says no cokes he means no classic coke and when he says no tea, he obviously means no sweet iced tea. And what durn fool would be drinking pepsi or Big K anyway? No white rice, no white bread. I like him. It hurt a little but it was over quickly. Another of my nurse friends explained to me that I should not totally avoid potatoes because if I don't eat some carbs, my brain will start sucking the protein out of my muscles and organs. It would soon starve on that stockpile! I suspect my mental abilities must have waned noticeably, thus the friendly advice. The dietitian says I can eat a little of anything as long as it has no sugar, no carbs, no fat and basically no taste. Actually she said I can eat sandwiches, corn, peas in small quantities. I think my wife has a thimble somewhere that I can use. I can eat meat but it can't be bigger than my hand..without the fingers. Needless to say I'm doing hand stretching exercises, because I am suddenly aware of how tiny my hands are! I usually go for the foot sized portions, which can be embarrassing in restaurants. I feel like that great Atlantan..that icon..the amazing Willie B. You know him, the Gorilla at the zoo. He is something like 47 years old. No one had laid a hand on him for about 20 years, so before they moved him to his new habitat they had to tranquilize him and give him a physical. About the same for me! He was named after the mayor of Atlanta who also had the Atlanta Airport named after him. Maynard Jackson. No, that's not right. Let's see, Atlanta Hartsfield Jackson Airport. It must have been Willie B Hartsfield. You see how I could get that confused don't you? He doesn't look anything like I remember Mayor Hartsfield. I must be short on carbs!
I hope y'all celebrated Ground Hog Day. We did! We had some special groundhog barbeque and other stuff. We played a game called hand and foot with some dear friends. All together we've known each other for about 750 years, if you add it all up. You know when you see advertisements stating over "over 50 years experience" it means they have about 25 employees who average about 2 years apiece in the industry. Of course, we played by the new "Village Rules". I have little sense when it comes to cards, but I have learned to enjoy it anyway. I have my own set of rules which work well for me. Rule 1. Don't worry about who's gonna win the game. It won't be me so who cares? 2. Don't worry about what the other players are doing. They will worry enough for everyone. 3. Take risks with your strategy. What's the most you could lose? Do not take risks with your retirement. 4. Interact as much as possible. Cards are what you play while you're busy having fun. 5. If you happen to win, do not claim any credit. Your friends will feel better knowing it was an accident rather than having been outwitted by an idiot. Bottom line is, an evening doing anything with friends is hard to beat!
Well it's darkthirty and I'm not hearing any fireworks! What gives? No one cares about Ground Hogs Day? Well it's no wonder our countrys gone to pot. Hmmmph!
Good night! remember, you live in the South and that's a blessing right there by itself!
disclaimer: if you don't understand some of this, read ALL of the earlier posts. You wouldn't start reading a recipe or an algebra book from the middle would you? I wouldn't at all! If after you read the other posts, you still don't understand, try bull running or working for the IRS.
I haven't written anything intellectual in a while, so I think I'll stick with that. I have let more people in my life, my business, my personal stuff in the last 5 weeks than I have for the last 25 years. The latest is the dietitian. What do you have to do to be a dietitian? I suppose if you grew up in Dietician Republic you could claim to be a dietitian and skip all of the school. My doctor said mix the lime with the coconut, make you feel better, mix the lime with the coconut and call me in the morning (Harry Nielsen). No, he said run from potatoes!(help me Quayle) That way you get the exercise and you don't eat the potatoes. He also said no cokes or tea. Now you know when he says no cokes he means no classic coke and when he says no tea, he obviously means no sweet iced tea. And what durn fool would be drinking pepsi or Big K anyway? No white rice, no white bread. I like him. It hurt a little but it was over quickly. Another of my nurse friends explained to me that I should not totally avoid potatoes because if I don't eat some carbs, my brain will start sucking the protein out of my muscles and organs. It would soon starve on that stockpile! I suspect my mental abilities must have waned noticeably, thus the friendly advice. The dietitian says I can eat a little of anything as long as it has no sugar, no carbs, no fat and basically no taste. Actually she said I can eat sandwiches, corn, peas in small quantities. I think my wife has a thimble somewhere that I can use. I can eat meat but it can't be bigger than my hand..without the fingers. Needless to say I'm doing hand stretching exercises, because I am suddenly aware of how tiny my hands are! I usually go for the foot sized portions, which can be embarrassing in restaurants. I feel like that great Atlantan..that icon..the amazing Willie B. You know him, the Gorilla at the zoo. He is something like 47 years old. No one had laid a hand on him for about 20 years, so before they moved him to his new habitat they had to tranquilize him and give him a physical. About the same for me! He was named after the mayor of Atlanta who also had the Atlanta Airport named after him. Maynard Jackson. No, that's not right. Let's see, Atlanta Hartsfield Jackson Airport. It must have been Willie B Hartsfield. You see how I could get that confused don't you? He doesn't look anything like I remember Mayor Hartsfield. I must be short on carbs!
I hope y'all celebrated Ground Hog Day. We did! We had some special groundhog barbeque and other stuff. We played a game called hand and foot with some dear friends. All together we've known each other for about 750 years, if you add it all up. You know when you see advertisements stating over "over 50 years experience" it means they have about 25 employees who average about 2 years apiece in the industry. Of course, we played by the new "Village Rules". I have little sense when it comes to cards, but I have learned to enjoy it anyway. I have my own set of rules which work well for me. Rule 1. Don't worry about who's gonna win the game. It won't be me so who cares? 2. Don't worry about what the other players are doing. They will worry enough for everyone. 3. Take risks with your strategy. What's the most you could lose? Do not take risks with your retirement. 4. Interact as much as possible. Cards are what you play while you're busy having fun. 5. If you happen to win, do not claim any credit. Your friends will feel better knowing it was an accident rather than having been outwitted by an idiot. Bottom line is, an evening doing anything with friends is hard to beat!
Well it's darkthirty and I'm not hearing any fireworks! What gives? No one cares about Ground Hogs Day? Well it's no wonder our countrys gone to pot. Hmmmph!
Good night! remember, you live in the South and that's a blessing right there by itself!
disclaimer: if you don't understand some of this, read ALL of the earlier posts. You wouldn't start reading a recipe or an algebra book from the middle would you? I wouldn't at all! If after you read the other posts, you still don't understand, try bull running or working for the IRS.
Sunday, January 25, 2009
There's a Vent in my Base-Ment
Hello friends.
Hope you like Dr. Seuss. He is one of my favorite authors. When I was young like 2nd-3rd grade, my favorite book was Big Red. When my teacher made me check out a library book, I always picked Big Red. It was pretty adventurous compared to Dick, Sally, Jane and Spot, although I liked those too. One year I read the whole Dick, Sally and Jane book during the summer and they didn't know what to do with me the next year at school, so I had my own reading group. She finally made me join the others. When I got a little older I began gravitating to Dr Seuss. He's very cool! My saga with installing the new dryer vent in my basement made me think of him.
There's a dryer vent with a higher bent that goes through the roof and into my attic. It pops out the ceiling and there it is squealing and spitting out lint, you can see if you squint. But some of the lint would not take the hint and hung on to the grille at the top. So when clogged beyond clogdom, the clothes it would seem, would be less like dried than like steamed!
Well something had to be done and right now and right fast with a hammer and tape and some ziberdy-zast!
Okay, I'm no Dr. Seuss! I guess it takes about 12 years of higher learning to do what he did. Don't you love how when he couldn't think of a rhyme, he just made up a word? That's cool!
This job should be so simple, but nothing in this world is that simple! First you have to assess the project. That's about 75% of the job! Then you must shop for materials. Another 30%. I go to Gnome Depot and pick up a few things, but most of it is cheap stuff like pig 1 and pig 2 would use. Then I went to Flowes to see what they had. I was looking for long sections of rigid pipe. Well it doesn't exist. You can buy long flat sheets of metal and then fold it into pipe. Like, tubular man! So I buy all they have. Two. I have to go to the other Flowes to get three more. You must lay these down on the carpet, while watching Clint Eastwood. Feel lucky? Well, do ya punk? Rolling these five foot sections of sheet metal into pipe is like, like... doing something really hard. Did you fall asleep reading this? If you did, it's ok, cause I fell asleep writing it! A snore woke me up! The sheet metal edges are very sharp and you run the risk of cutting your hands to bits and pieces, bits and pieces, Since you left me and you said goodbye, I'm in pieces, bits and pieces, All I do is sit and cry! (Dave Clark Five). The reason for your risk, is that the store can stock this stuff more conveniently, thereby shifting the risk of assembly to you. You know you can't spell assembly without- well I always feel like one whenever I try it! My hats off to the sheet metal workers! Brave workers! After rolling these pipes, you must connect them and then seal with duck tape. I got the real kind like the experts suggested. It's chrome plated and has a paper backing to keep it from sticking to itself. I bought this because my old lifetime supply of duck tape can never be found. I see it almost everyday when I'm looking for other things that can't be found. I bet my wife a dollar to a dime that I would find the old duck tape, after I made the trip for new. I was right. When I claim stupidity, it's always a safe bet. I ended up abandoning the high-bred duck tape and using the old standard. The rule with duck tape is use the amount your dad would use and then repeat, twice! It always works. Once I lost one of the kids doing that, but we had several others. So then the task of lifting this monstrosity into place. I strapped everything into place with those plastic wire wrap things. I love those! Don't ever put one around your neck though! You have to snake that pipe around studs, through doorways, around light fixtures, through rafters and between wiring. One innovative idea I had was to wrap electrical wiring around and around and around the pipe in a tight coil for an electromagnetic effect. That should cause the electron charged lint and air to move more rapidly through the pipe! Now if you want to stand outside, you can dry your hair with this thing while doing the laundry!.
It was sad to see the old Lint Dust Collection Module (LDCM) go. Remember the box where all of the lint used to go? I opened it up. There was enough lint in there to knit sweaters for the King Family. No, not the MLKing family. There used to be this singing family of about 45 aunts, cousins, uncles, sisters, brothers etc that sang these corny tv specials. Every one of them had blond hair. I guess if they had a brunette or red headed baby, they just donated it to the orphanage. And there were an assortment of little expired mammals and 37 pairs of mismatched socks! I always thought fluffy had been lost in the woods. Remember to keep your dryer door closed at all times. Next time I buy a house, I'm making sure the laundry room is on an exterior wall!
Some day, in my spare time, I'll write a "How Not To"' book. They say write about the things you know best and that's my specialty!
I hope you sleep well tonite and dream dreams that challenge realty!
Hope you like Dr. Seuss. He is one of my favorite authors. When I was young like 2nd-3rd grade, my favorite book was Big Red. When my teacher made me check out a library book, I always picked Big Red. It was pretty adventurous compared to Dick, Sally, Jane and Spot, although I liked those too. One year I read the whole Dick, Sally and Jane book during the summer and they didn't know what to do with me the next year at school, so I had my own reading group. She finally made me join the others. When I got a little older I began gravitating to Dr Seuss. He's very cool! My saga with installing the new dryer vent in my basement made me think of him.
There's a dryer vent with a higher bent that goes through the roof and into my attic. It pops out the ceiling and there it is squealing and spitting out lint, you can see if you squint. But some of the lint would not take the hint and hung on to the grille at the top. So when clogged beyond clogdom, the clothes it would seem, would be less like dried than like steamed!
Well something had to be done and right now and right fast with a hammer and tape and some ziberdy-zast!
Okay, I'm no Dr. Seuss! I guess it takes about 12 years of higher learning to do what he did. Don't you love how when he couldn't think of a rhyme, he just made up a word? That's cool!
This job should be so simple, but nothing in this world is that simple! First you have to assess the project. That's about 75% of the job! Then you must shop for materials. Another 30%. I go to Gnome Depot and pick up a few things, but most of it is cheap stuff like pig 1 and pig 2 would use. Then I went to Flowes to see what they had. I was looking for long sections of rigid pipe. Well it doesn't exist. You can buy long flat sheets of metal and then fold it into pipe. Like, tubular man! So I buy all they have. Two. I have to go to the other Flowes to get three more. You must lay these down on the carpet, while watching Clint Eastwood. Feel lucky? Well, do ya punk? Rolling these five foot sections of sheet metal into pipe is like, like... doing something really hard. Did you fall asleep reading this? If you did, it's ok, cause I fell asleep writing it! A snore woke me up! The sheet metal edges are very sharp and you run the risk of cutting your hands to bits and pieces, bits and pieces, Since you left me and you said goodbye, I'm in pieces, bits and pieces, All I do is sit and cry! (Dave Clark Five). The reason for your risk, is that the store can stock this stuff more conveniently, thereby shifting the risk of assembly to you. You know you can't spell assembly without- well I always feel like one whenever I try it! My hats off to the sheet metal workers! Brave workers! After rolling these pipes, you must connect them and then seal with duck tape. I got the real kind like the experts suggested. It's chrome plated and has a paper backing to keep it from sticking to itself. I bought this because my old lifetime supply of duck tape can never be found. I see it almost everyday when I'm looking for other things that can't be found. I bet my wife a dollar to a dime that I would find the old duck tape, after I made the trip for new. I was right. When I claim stupidity, it's always a safe bet. I ended up abandoning the high-bred duck tape and using the old standard. The rule with duck tape is use the amount your dad would use and then repeat, twice! It always works. Once I lost one of the kids doing that, but we had several others. So then the task of lifting this monstrosity into place. I strapped everything into place with those plastic wire wrap things. I love those! Don't ever put one around your neck though! You have to snake that pipe around studs, through doorways, around light fixtures, through rafters and between wiring. One innovative idea I had was to wrap electrical wiring around and around and around the pipe in a tight coil for an electromagnetic effect. That should cause the electron charged lint and air to move more rapidly through the pipe! Now if you want to stand outside, you can dry your hair with this thing while doing the laundry!.
It was sad to see the old Lint Dust Collection Module (LDCM) go. Remember the box where all of the lint used to go? I opened it up. There was enough lint in there to knit sweaters for the King Family. No, not the MLKing family. There used to be this singing family of about 45 aunts, cousins, uncles, sisters, brothers etc that sang these corny tv specials. Every one of them had blond hair. I guess if they had a brunette or red headed baby, they just donated it to the orphanage. And there were an assortment of little expired mammals and 37 pairs of mismatched socks! I always thought fluffy had been lost in the woods. Remember to keep your dryer door closed at all times. Next time I buy a house, I'm making sure the laundry room is on an exterior wall!
Some day, in my spare time, I'll write a "How Not To"' book. They say write about the things you know best and that's my specialty!
I hope you sleep well tonite and dream dreams that challenge realty!
Thursday, January 22, 2009
Slave Dryer!
Hello fellow slaves!
Do you own that chocolate shake or does it own you? Yeah. My dryer has pushed me around long enough. I'm pushing back! You know when you buy a new house, it's supposed to stay new. Mine started aging before I could move in. It's seven years old. It should be perfect. I'm paying enough! And paying enough! And paying enough! SLAP!! Break the cycle. The brand new stove quit at about one year old. Our fault. We used the self clean cycle. You shouldn't do that. If you have one, just put a piece of tape over the button. Stove mechanic said it would be cheaper to buy a new one. We got an electric with a flat top. If it says flat, it's better! Flat top stove, flat screen TV, flat bellies, flat mortgage, flat tax etc. My friends have lots of cats hanging around their driveway. I affectionately call them flat cats, because, you know. I love my flat top stove so much, that I spend time daily massaging it, scraping stuff off of it, grinding, sanding, chiseling all of the burnt oxidation crud off of it! Okay, the dryer saga. Had a new Amanda Dryer. If you know Amanda Dryer, it's not the same thing. Amanda was only with me a couple of years. But I kept her around, because I knew some day I would breathe life back into her comatose body. My mama had the same dryer most of my childhood. We left it out in the rain and never had to maintain it. It used no gas or electricity and had no belts. It was a solar dryer! We just hung our clothes on it. It was the deluxe model with 4 lines! My dad built it! When Amanda quit, we had a spare, so we used it for a while until it quit. I put a new motor in Amanda and she ran like a top, until her electrodes or elements or something quit. I tried replacing them but to no avail. I didn't want another Amanda so I got a Maepole, the one that never breaks down. Got her home and except for her knobs, Mae looked just like Amanda! It's like the Twilight Zone with Rod Sterling. He didn't look like a Rod. He looked more like a Ted or Phil Sirling. In high school there was a guy we called "Rod the Bod" he wore these cut-off shirts with his flat belly showing, like he was a jock, only he didn't play sports. One of my buddies came as "Rod the Bod" on senior day. It's not the Rod you're thinking of anyway. Another friend and me came as cowboys, back when it wasn't so common and redneck. There was this one guy who drove a pickup. He thought his pick up was so cool. Nobody else dug pick ups back then. I wore black pants, black shirt, black hat, black..well you get it. I made a holster that strapped around my leg, so I didn't have to reach up to my waist to draw and I did carry a cap pistol. I didn't shave for a week, and swaggered down the hallways looking mean! I looked plenty tough! I modeled my character after Lee Marvin as Kid Shaleen, the gunslinger in Cat Balou. Great character! Watch the movie, if you can get over a young Jane Fonda being in it. My friend dressed up in all white. I'm not sure who he was, Truman Capote? Just kidding! He was the good guy, I guess.It was a fun day. To give you an idea what the class of "71 at Forest Park High School was like, our predecessors, class of '70 had "We've Only Just Begun" (as in The Carpenters) for their class motto. We had "Born to be Wild" (Steppenwolf). Fade out-fade in. Back to the dryer saga. Our house, is a very, very,very fine house, with two cats in the yard, life used to be so hard. Now everything is easy cause of you (Crosby, Stills, Nash, Young). Pardon, I have to throw in a song lyric now and then to keep the musically reclined interested. Our house has a high roof. Ever see a house with a high roof and walk inside to find only a moderately high ceiling. Oh, well there must be a second floor. No stairs. You look in the attic - nothing but 2X4 braces, insulation and air! $297,000 for a huge house with only 820 square feet! What's that all about, Alfie? Well sir, my house does have high ceilings and I have the gas and electric bills to prove it! Point being is, in his infinite wisdom, the builder runs the dryer vent up through the roof, which is about 35 feet up. We were having to dry clothes for about 2 days! And then ring them out before wearing. I fixed that the same way I fixed my '73 Gold Duster! When it couldn't make it down town without running hot, I figured the smog canister thing. must be clogged. Rather than buy a new one, I discarded the old one, replaced it with a Hi-C can and stuffed paper towels inside. It didn't make much difference, but at least I scored a blow against the establishment. What goes up, should go down! I cut a hole in the floor of my laundry room (read closet) and ran the hose through the floor and into the basement. Messy you say. I'm no hayseed! I don't really know who is, but not me! I got a large cardboard box, about 2 feet cubed. If you don't know what that means, just remember big. I ran the flexible tubing into the box. I taped up the openings to the box to seal it and cut a square hole into it's skin. I stapled a piece of window screening over the hole and it worked great. For a couple of years. Well yeah, it does make the basement more damp and moldy and it might be why my wife seems to have this alergic cough, especially at night and our bedroom is over the downstairs lint dust collection module. My LDCM was overloaded. Now, the "not drying our clothes" thing has started again. Time to clean out the LDCM. But this time, I'm running about 215 feet of rigid pipe under the overhead joists and fixing a hole where the rain came in, and stopped my mind from wandering, where I should go-o. Whoops, those were lyrics again (Beatles). Sorry. I will have to cut a hole through the brick, which I paid dearly to have installed without holes or cracks. I will connect the rigid pipe to the vent I bought and once again, I will be free, free, free at last!!! I know what it means to be enslaved. I feel the pain of the oppressed! But I soon will be free. Then there's the dead bolt locks that the builder didn't install. They built a house with 39,000 bricks (see, I did learn from the three pigs), wired it for security and installed steel covered entry doors. Why did they install locks that a nine year old can break through. I know what you're thinking, but there's nothing in here that would be worth breaking in for. Some of it will turn up at the thrift store and you can purchase it inexpensively there. Just be patient!
This is probably way more than you wanted to know, but it's just the tip of the iceberg! Buy things that have been tested. I'm buying an ipod some day, after the next thing or two is invented so the price comes down. The next thing will be a chip implanted in your head, that plays internally. No earpiece or roach thing, whatever that thing is that goes on your ear. It will be straight wired to your brain. Then when you say this is the soundtrack to my life, it will be true.
It' getting late. There's so much to write and so little worth writing, so good night my love, pleasant dreams, sleep tight my love, may your tomorrow be sunny and bright and bring you closer to me (Fleetwoods). (not Mac)
disclaimer: if you don't understand some of this, read ALL of the earlier posts. You wouldn't start reading a recipe or an algebra book from the middle would you? I wouldn't at all! If after you read the other posts, you still don't understand, try bull running or working for the IRS.
Do you own that chocolate shake or does it own you? Yeah. My dryer has pushed me around long enough. I'm pushing back! You know when you buy a new house, it's supposed to stay new. Mine started aging before I could move in. It's seven years old. It should be perfect. I'm paying enough! And paying enough! And paying enough! SLAP!! Break the cycle. The brand new stove quit at about one year old. Our fault. We used the self clean cycle. You shouldn't do that. If you have one, just put a piece of tape over the button. Stove mechanic said it would be cheaper to buy a new one. We got an electric with a flat top. If it says flat, it's better! Flat top stove, flat screen TV, flat bellies, flat mortgage, flat tax etc. My friends have lots of cats hanging around their driveway. I affectionately call them flat cats, because, you know. I love my flat top stove so much, that I spend time daily massaging it, scraping stuff off of it, grinding, sanding, chiseling all of the burnt oxidation crud off of it! Okay, the dryer saga. Had a new Amanda Dryer. If you know Amanda Dryer, it's not the same thing. Amanda was only with me a couple of years. But I kept her around, because I knew some day I would breathe life back into her comatose body. My mama had the same dryer most of my childhood. We left it out in the rain and never had to maintain it. It used no gas or electricity and had no belts. It was a solar dryer! We just hung our clothes on it. It was the deluxe model with 4 lines! My dad built it! When Amanda quit, we had a spare, so we used it for a while until it quit. I put a new motor in Amanda and she ran like a top, until her electrodes or elements or something quit. I tried replacing them but to no avail. I didn't want another Amanda so I got a Maepole, the one that never breaks down. Got her home and except for her knobs, Mae looked just like Amanda! It's like the Twilight Zone with Rod Sterling. He didn't look like a Rod. He looked more like a Ted or Phil Sirling. In high school there was a guy we called "Rod the Bod" he wore these cut-off shirts with his flat belly showing, like he was a jock, only he didn't play sports. One of my buddies came as "Rod the Bod" on senior day. It's not the Rod you're thinking of anyway. Another friend and me came as cowboys, back when it wasn't so common and redneck. There was this one guy who drove a pickup. He thought his pick up was so cool. Nobody else dug pick ups back then. I wore black pants, black shirt, black hat, black..well you get it. I made a holster that strapped around my leg, so I didn't have to reach up to my waist to draw and I did carry a cap pistol. I didn't shave for a week, and swaggered down the hallways looking mean! I looked plenty tough! I modeled my character after Lee Marvin as Kid Shaleen, the gunslinger in Cat Balou. Great character! Watch the movie, if you can get over a young Jane Fonda being in it. My friend dressed up in all white. I'm not sure who he was, Truman Capote? Just kidding! He was the good guy, I guess.It was a fun day. To give you an idea what the class of "71 at Forest Park High School was like, our predecessors, class of '70 had "We've Only Just Begun" (as in The Carpenters) for their class motto. We had "Born to be Wild" (Steppenwolf). Fade out-fade in. Back to the dryer saga. Our house, is a very, very,very fine house, with two cats in the yard, life used to be so hard. Now everything is easy cause of you (Crosby, Stills, Nash, Young). Pardon, I have to throw in a song lyric now and then to keep the musically reclined interested. Our house has a high roof. Ever see a house with a high roof and walk inside to find only a moderately high ceiling. Oh, well there must be a second floor. No stairs. You look in the attic - nothing but 2X4 braces, insulation and air! $297,000 for a huge house with only 820 square feet! What's that all about, Alfie? Well sir, my house does have high ceilings and I have the gas and electric bills to prove it! Point being is, in his infinite wisdom, the builder runs the dryer vent up through the roof, which is about 35 feet up. We were having to dry clothes for about 2 days! And then ring them out before wearing. I fixed that the same way I fixed my '73 Gold Duster! When it couldn't make it down town without running hot, I figured the smog canister thing. must be clogged. Rather than buy a new one, I discarded the old one, replaced it with a Hi-C can and stuffed paper towels inside. It didn't make much difference, but at least I scored a blow against the establishment. What goes up, should go down! I cut a hole in the floor of my laundry room (read closet) and ran the hose through the floor and into the basement. Messy you say. I'm no hayseed! I don't really know who is, but not me! I got a large cardboard box, about 2 feet cubed. If you don't know what that means, just remember big. I ran the flexible tubing into the box. I taped up the openings to the box to seal it and cut a square hole into it's skin. I stapled a piece of window screening over the hole and it worked great. For a couple of years. Well yeah, it does make the basement more damp and moldy and it might be why my wife seems to have this alergic cough, especially at night and our bedroom is over the downstairs lint dust collection module. My LDCM was overloaded. Now, the "not drying our clothes" thing has started again. Time to clean out the LDCM. But this time, I'm running about 215 feet of rigid pipe under the overhead joists and fixing a hole where the rain came in, and stopped my mind from wandering, where I should go-o. Whoops, those were lyrics again (Beatles). Sorry. I will have to cut a hole through the brick, which I paid dearly to have installed without holes or cracks. I will connect the rigid pipe to the vent I bought and once again, I will be free, free, free at last!!! I know what it means to be enslaved. I feel the pain of the oppressed! But I soon will be free. Then there's the dead bolt locks that the builder didn't install. They built a house with 39,000 bricks (see, I did learn from the three pigs), wired it for security and installed steel covered entry doors. Why did they install locks that a nine year old can break through. I know what you're thinking, but there's nothing in here that would be worth breaking in for. Some of it will turn up at the thrift store and you can purchase it inexpensively there. Just be patient!
This is probably way more than you wanted to know, but it's just the tip of the iceberg! Buy things that have been tested. I'm buying an ipod some day, after the next thing or two is invented so the price comes down. The next thing will be a chip implanted in your head, that plays internally. No earpiece or roach thing, whatever that thing is that goes on your ear. It will be straight wired to your brain. Then when you say this is the soundtrack to my life, it will be true.
It' getting late. There's so much to write and so little worth writing, so good night my love, pleasant dreams, sleep tight my love, may your tomorrow be sunny and bright and bring you closer to me (Fleetwoods). (not Mac)
disclaimer: if you don't understand some of this, read ALL of the earlier posts. You wouldn't start reading a recipe or an algebra book from the middle would you? I wouldn't at all! If after you read the other posts, you still don't understand, try bull running or working for the IRS.
Tuesday, January 20, 2009
Don't feel funny.
Hello friends,
I don't know what people do without friends! Thank you to my friends. I'm not feeling funny these days. Not much. I did see a Bob Hope movie yesterday that I had never seen before, "Alias Jesse James". It was a comedy. If you hadn't already guessed that, you don't know who Bob Hope is. Only one of the worlds greatest comedians ever! I believe you should laugh every day, even if it's only at yourself! I learned that from Bob. Another actor I like is Jack Lemon. I liked those two even as a teenager. Jack Lemon's character often gets into these ridiculous situations and it's funny to see him squirm his way through it. I used to dream up situations to get into, so it would be funny to others when I had to get out of them. I only remember actually doing one of them and it worked quite well. I spelled my middle name incorrectly on legal documents, like my driver's license, social security card, etc. I never used my middle name anyway. It is Combs or Coombs. I honestly don't know. I changed it back on my drivers lisence, but I'm still not sure it's right. I have my birth certificate, but I never can remember it even after I look at it. I have a mental block. In fact if you took all of my mental blocks and placed them end to end, you would have wasted a lot of time and you'd have a long walk home from Nantucket or maybe Daytona Beach, which would be great! I love the beach. I love the sun, the waves, people having fun, the sand, bright colors. I'm feeling better already. If I can just hang on for a few months.
You want to know what's really bothering me? Of course not. But you've read this far. Might as well continue. Like one of those books that's supposed to be so good. you just keep reading it, hoping maybe something on the last page will make it worthwhile. What's bothering me is the responsibility factor. It's what happens when you're not used to being responsible and all of the sudden, you try it!!! Like eating lots of vegetables and your stomach is not used to it. Like when you don't go to the dentist or floss your teeth 6 times a day. Or when you don't eat right, get fat, get high blood pressure, get diabetes and high triglycerides (how ever you spell it). It's what happens when you take your car to the mechanic. It's what happens when you take the Ramsey Lewis Trio Financial Peas seminar. Everything is just fine, if you ignore it. We did our budget. You know what?? We spend about $500 a month more than we make. And there are a lot of things that aren't even on there!.
My doctor says if I lose weight those things might go away, the medical things anyway. I believe my blood pressure and blood sugar would both come down. Just when I get high marks for something, they decide it's bad. I believe when I lose weight my hair will come back! You see, there still is some hair up there. There's just not as much per square inch. If I reduce the square inches, the hair would, of course get thicker. I figure about 25 square inches should do it! Of course my ears would end up on top of my head and my chin might be a little tight, but there's an extra one down there anyway. I guess that's what it's for. Sometimes I dream that I have hair. I'm really quite handsome! In fact, I'm convinced that's why I don't have hair! It's my thorn in the flesh! When I was young, girls used to follow me around! A few of them were just trying to get those 50's I had hanging out of my back pocket, but some were really interested. Most of those, I encouraged to visit the senior center, where the guys walked a little slower and could be more easily caught! Ah, the fun memories of youth...I would save up for weeks and weeks until I had about 5 or 6 dollars. Then my buddies and I would do our favorite thing. Go down town! We would take the bus from Forest Park, the greatest place to grow up, unless you count the beach. If I had hair and lived at the beach, you could just forget it!! But, the most fun you could have living in Forest Park, was taking the bus to DOWNTOWN ATLANTA! Talk about opening up the eyes of a young man, around 14, it was groovy, man! For ten cents, you could take a 30 minute ride on the bus to Atlanta. The route ended on Auburn Ave right across from a Krystal's Hamburger joint. We usually ate there. Three Krystal's for ten cents each, some fries and a coke. So you could eat for about fifty cents. A couple times we ate at Shoneys. You're talking about a dollar twenty or so for a Big Boy combo.And you had to wait an hour for them to make it. We always joked that you could order from Shoneys, walk next store to the Rialto and see a movie, and get out about the same time your food arrives. Of course Riches was an institution with it's 5 story buildings on both side of the block and the connecting three story bridge. We played chase on the elevators and escalators. You always saw drunks and hobos begging for a dime or a quarter. Our standard line was always, we only have our bus fare. This was often true. I love to go to New York now and just walk around like that, but it's not near the thrill that Atlanta used to be. I wouldn't trade it for all of the video games and ipods in the world!
Well, you probably don't feel any better, but this trip down memory lane has loosened me up a little! Say, why don't you take a trip down memory lane? It could do you some good! You should take a bus somewhere or drive somewhere, park your car and get out and walk around. Take in some quaint little shops, antique stores. Watch a little league ball game. get some bar b que! Call me up when you do, cause I want to go!
Good night everyone! Sleep tight friends!!
I don't know what people do without friends! Thank you to my friends. I'm not feeling funny these days. Not much. I did see a Bob Hope movie yesterday that I had never seen before, "Alias Jesse James". It was a comedy. If you hadn't already guessed that, you don't know who Bob Hope is. Only one of the worlds greatest comedians ever! I believe you should laugh every day, even if it's only at yourself! I learned that from Bob. Another actor I like is Jack Lemon. I liked those two even as a teenager. Jack Lemon's character often gets into these ridiculous situations and it's funny to see him squirm his way through it. I used to dream up situations to get into, so it would be funny to others when I had to get out of them. I only remember actually doing one of them and it worked quite well. I spelled my middle name incorrectly on legal documents, like my driver's license, social security card, etc. I never used my middle name anyway. It is Combs or Coombs. I honestly don't know. I changed it back on my drivers lisence, but I'm still not sure it's right. I have my birth certificate, but I never can remember it even after I look at it. I have a mental block. In fact if you took all of my mental blocks and placed them end to end, you would have wasted a lot of time and you'd have a long walk home from Nantucket or maybe Daytona Beach, which would be great! I love the beach. I love the sun, the waves, people having fun, the sand, bright colors. I'm feeling better already. If I can just hang on for a few months.
You want to know what's really bothering me? Of course not. But you've read this far. Might as well continue. Like one of those books that's supposed to be so good. you just keep reading it, hoping maybe something on the last page will make it worthwhile. What's bothering me is the responsibility factor. It's what happens when you're not used to being responsible and all of the sudden, you try it!!! Like eating lots of vegetables and your stomach is not used to it. Like when you don't go to the dentist or floss your teeth 6 times a day. Or when you don't eat right, get fat, get high blood pressure, get diabetes and high triglycerides (how ever you spell it). It's what happens when you take your car to the mechanic. It's what happens when you take the Ramsey Lewis Trio Financial Peas seminar. Everything is just fine, if you ignore it. We did our budget. You know what?? We spend about $500 a month more than we make. And there are a lot of things that aren't even on there!.
My doctor says if I lose weight those things might go away, the medical things anyway. I believe my blood pressure and blood sugar would both come down. Just when I get high marks for something, they decide it's bad. I believe when I lose weight my hair will come back! You see, there still is some hair up there. There's just not as much per square inch. If I reduce the square inches, the hair would, of course get thicker. I figure about 25 square inches should do it! Of course my ears would end up on top of my head and my chin might be a little tight, but there's an extra one down there anyway. I guess that's what it's for. Sometimes I dream that I have hair. I'm really quite handsome! In fact, I'm convinced that's why I don't have hair! It's my thorn in the flesh! When I was young, girls used to follow me around! A few of them were just trying to get those 50's I had hanging out of my back pocket, but some were really interested. Most of those, I encouraged to visit the senior center, where the guys walked a little slower and could be more easily caught! Ah, the fun memories of youth...I would save up for weeks and weeks until I had about 5 or 6 dollars. Then my buddies and I would do our favorite thing. Go down town! We would take the bus from Forest Park, the greatest place to grow up, unless you count the beach. If I had hair and lived at the beach, you could just forget it!! But, the most fun you could have living in Forest Park, was taking the bus to DOWNTOWN ATLANTA! Talk about opening up the eyes of a young man, around 14, it was groovy, man! For ten cents, you could take a 30 minute ride on the bus to Atlanta. The route ended on Auburn Ave right across from a Krystal's Hamburger joint. We usually ate there. Three Krystal's for ten cents each, some fries and a coke. So you could eat for about fifty cents. A couple times we ate at Shoneys. You're talking about a dollar twenty or so for a Big Boy combo.And you had to wait an hour for them to make it. We always joked that you could order from Shoneys, walk next store to the Rialto and see a movie, and get out about the same time your food arrives. Of course Riches was an institution with it's 5 story buildings on both side of the block and the connecting three story bridge. We played chase on the elevators and escalators. You always saw drunks and hobos begging for a dime or a quarter. Our standard line was always, we only have our bus fare. This was often true. I love to go to New York now and just walk around like that, but it's not near the thrill that Atlanta used to be. I wouldn't trade it for all of the video games and ipods in the world!
Well, you probably don't feel any better, but this trip down memory lane has loosened me up a little! Say, why don't you take a trip down memory lane? It could do you some good! You should take a bus somewhere or drive somewhere, park your car and get out and walk around. Take in some quaint little shops, antique stores. Watch a little league ball game. get some bar b que! Call me up when you do, cause I want to go!
Good night everyone! Sleep tight friends!!
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