ZOLPEDIN BLUES

I went to my doctor the other day-again. You never know what he's going to say, or do. This is my Dr.TV Doctor, the one who is not an actor, but plays one in real life. I always try to anticipate how the visit will go. First I organize my fears and expectations. Then, I check with my wife to see if she has anything to add. I was concerned that he might want to do my annual physical, even though I had one last year. I knew he would bug me about my cholesterol. My smarter, prettier half suggested I ask him for diabetes medication. So now I'm fully prepared. I got a pass on the physical. He poo-pooed (medical term) the diabetes medication and doubled my blood pressure medication. I'll meet his double and half it! The last time, he gave me a prescription for cholesterol drugs, even though I told him I didn't want it. I never filled it. This time, he gave me another one. I told him I would try it. Maybe I will. Lying to a doctor is not the same as lying to a regular person is it? I asked him about a sleep study. He said, "Do you wake up a lot during the night"? I said "Yes". He said, "That's all a sleep study will tell you and you already know that. I'm writing you a prescription for Zolpedin, that's a generic for Ambien". That's enough "he said-he said" stuff. So let's forget about the snoring, cessation of breathing, lack of oxygen thing. This will help you sleep through it. So now I take half a Zolpedin every night. Soon they'll have baby Zolpedin, so I don't have to half them. Now I sleep just fine. I don't dream or toss and turn. It's nice. But am I missing something? I usually have thoughts at night. And dreams, some weird, some frightening, some funny. Did I just give up 1/4 of my life? I feel like I'm sleeping through 30 per cent of my life. (Just wanted to see if you're paying attention or just skimming) Can you sleep through sleep? Is my life so bad that I should sleep through it? Should I be taking Zolpedaytime medication? Is it worth it? Yes! It's worth 3 bucks a month to sleep good every night!

Zolpedin Blues

I've been losing sleep at night
having bad dreams of you,
I'm walking like a zombie
and don't know what to do.
So I went to my physician
and here's what he said.
You can take yourself some Zolpedin
and sleep like the dead.

So now I've got the Zolpedin Blu-ues

My night are spent alone at the Zolpedin Hotel
I zone out with little pills and as far as I can tell
I'm losing 8 hours a day 'cause my brain has turned to gel
I can't think of you at all and I guess it's just as well
I've got the Zo-oh-wo-oh-wo-oh-wo-pe-deen Baluuuuues!

ZZZZZ--ZZZZZ--ZZZZZ--ZZZZZ-ZZZZZZZZZZZ!