Elvis is dead and I'm not feeling so well myself!

Hello friends,

I know, I borrowed the title from Lewis Grizzard. I don't think he'd mind. I hope someone is stealing my stuff 15 years after I die! There is a Lewis Grizzard tribute show on tour now. How about that, Lewis impersonators. No relation, bytheway.
Not feeling well? I'm healthy. I just don't feel like writing, but I thought you might feel like reading. I just haven't been sufficiently disgusted lately. It's awful! I went to the dentist last Tuesday. Wendy was my hygienist again. I had a polishing appointment. First thing she asked was, did I have gas? I said, No, I've been on a special diet lately. Oh, she said would I like gas? No, I have some. I think I can get thru polishing without gas! Of course she didn't tell me she was going to do acupuncture on my gums. She took this dart and stuck it into my gums at every tooth until she either hit enamel or struck gold. Then she got the water hammer and lasered all the tartar off that had built up since the other week when I was there. No funny thoughts came to me. They were playing country music. Songs like:

I wuz datin' this gurl name Muriel,
She put Jack Daniels in her cereal.
But when she put raspberry in her tea,
Bubba, that's the last she heard from me!
Cause we don't do things like that in the South!

I wus drivin this old beater,
with jist a radio and a heater.
And I thought I'd get me a new set a wheels.
This sales gurl there named Rhonda,
Said I'd look cute in a yellow Honda
And I said yeah, and a nice pair of orange high heels.
Cause we just don't do things like that in the South!

I was powerful hungry and wanted some grub
I grabbed the waiter and said Listen Bub!
I don't want no artichoke hearts or antilope brain.
I want a Big juicy steak and make it plain
And a baked tater and Listen here, Jane!
That's the way we do things in the South!

Oh well. One of the goals of this blog was to empty my mind. I think I've gone too far! I knew this would happen.

If this one didn't tickle your gizzard, read one of the older post again!

Night y'all!