Going Broke In Bolingbroke / What's Fair Is Fair!

Good evening friends,

A cow-worker, whoops, make that co-worker of mine has been bragging to everyone for the last umpteen years about the Cherry Blossom Festival in Macon. If you find yourself down there in Bibb County, you have to call it the Chayree Blossom Festival. I just call it the Red-Neck Fair, because of all the blooming idiots! Let's just say I had my hopes a little too high. There was said to be over 3000 Cherry trees and the town was supposed to be very beautiful and PINK. I guess I somehow expected all 3000 trees to be in the same area. Silly of me I suppose . I guess I didn't expect to have to walk the whole 175 square miles to see the trees, which were not yet fully bloomed. I pictured my sweetie and me walking thru this charming town, with pink blooming trees on both sides of the road. Nice, normal people strolling around, admiring the beautiful churches. Ducking into an occasional antique or junk shop. Listening to free concerts wafting in from the lawn. I never say "wafting" in real life unless it's something like "wafting down the wivver in a wubber waft". I admit, the first event was nice and enjoyable. It was the canine frisbee competition. Dogs are always them selves. They never put on. Of course some of the dogs wore clothes and I'm not talking about the redneck women! I feel sorry for a dog who is forced to dress for an occasion. These dogs were great! They all had great enthusiasm! But this one owner was kind of doofussy. He was a chubby fellow with a too small cowboy hat. His dog was missing the Frisbee most of the time. Not the dogs fault. he just was not yet ready for competition. The owner ended up having the dog run by and jump and he would put the frisbee in the dogs mouth. If you wear a cowboy hat, one of three things will occur. If you're handsome and well built, you can over come it. If your trousers are dusty, and your face is lined and weathered like Moroccan leather, like a real cowboy, you may be excused. All others just look like doofusses! We walked past the cotton candy and kettle corn and some really great smelling wings, turkey drumsticks and boiled peanuts and there we were at the snake show. We were taught how to respect snakes and leave them alone. They told us how to avoid getting snakebit. There was about 190 people watching that show. I'd bet that more of the 190 people attending will have future snake incidents after seeing the show than would have without seeing the show. We saw people line up to have their pictures taken with a sea lion resting his chin on top of their head. There was a Japanese fellow who was so amused that he stood to the side and took pictures of the strange Americans having their pictures made with a sea lion on top of their heads.

On the way home we fortunately, passed the I-75 exit to Bolingbroke, Ga. The sign clearly states "No Return Ramp". Imagine you're cruising down I-75 north and you decide to get off at Bolingbroke. Suppose you missed the sign, saying "You'll Be Sorrry!. You get off and enter your new home town, like it or not. You get a bite to eat and then look for the entrance ramp, but there is NONE! You invest in a motel room, breakfast, gas for the car. Before long you are broke. you now become a debtor to the town of Bolingbroke. You must work to pay off your debt and of course to pay for room and board. Consequently, you become a permanent resident/prisoner of Bolingbroke. Don't believe me? Ask everyone you meet, if they have been to Bolingbroke. No one has! Then you will know I write the truth! If perhaps someone says they have been to Bolingbroke and they seem to speak truth, check to see if they can bend all of their fingers or have antennae on the back of their head. These people are outer space cannibals and plan to suck as many humans into their trap as possible until there are none left.
The other explanation would be that the DOT ran out of funds after building the exit ramp and never got around to building the entrance ramp. I find that hard to believe. It's like those roach motels. they run inside and then can't get back out.

Oh well, let's just say I had a cultural weekend. That's when you have to see things you don't care a hoot about, in order to be considered tolerant, politically correct and socially acceptable.

Sweet dreams!