Ever been to a Nudist's funeral?

Hello friends,
Thank you so much for reading my little thing, here. You are among the dozen or so who faithfully read this drivel, rain, sleet, hail or snow! Don't think I don't appreciate it, because if I knew who you were, I would. But as Bob Dylan said, "The times, they are a changin". No I'm not dying or going to prison, at least not tonite. Bytheway, it's very avant-garde to use the alternate spelling, t o n i t e instead of t o n i g h t. It saves one letter's worth of ink and one letter's space on the paper, thus saving trees and Cuttlefish. I'm on a "Save The Cuttlefish" kick right now. You probably know them as Sepia, which is one source for dyes, used in ink. Information to dye for! If you see more words misspelled, just assume it's my avant-garde attitude towards life in general. Rarely will it be because I can't spell. More'n likely it'll be because after 24 years of sitting at a computer, I still can't type very well. And it's because I am too blind to recognize my mistakes. Blindness runs in my family. Noses also. All those who passed on before me, lost their sight shortly after death. I have an uncle who has been blind for some time. We celebrated his 90th birthday a few weeks ago. Shortly after though, he had an unfortunate accident. He was going to the doctor and fell and broke his hip. He's going to be ok, thank you. The doctor said he probably wouldn't've been hurt so bad if he hadn't fallen on his gun which is always strapped to his side. That's something you don't see very often. A double contraction. you don't see words like wouldn't've very often. Also you don't see 90 year old blind men carrying pistols everyday, but if you're in Butch's Resturant in Jonesboro at lunchtime you might see Uncle Williard with his 89 year old wife, flirting with the waitresses and having everyone in stitches! He has a special car that flys on Wednesdays.
The reason I'm especially grateful to my loyal readers, is that there will be some changes made soon. There will be advertising on my blog. I know, you don't want ads, but most of you weren't sending me any money and this stuff aint free. Ok it is free. but still, I could be watching public TV or stomping bugs in the basement or playing solitaire by myself. The commercials are coming and I'm a little apprehensive about it. They try to match the commercials to my readers. I hope it's not Viagra or ladies underwear. Would I rather advertise Geico or Safe Auto? Depends. I hope my readers are like me and they're into exotic travel, exotic cars, exotic food and exotic pocket protectors. Whatever it is, promise me you will click on it a lot. I'm dreaming of clickomania! Because I get paid by the click. I don't know how much, but if it's like most scales, I can retire at 59! That is 2059.
If this doesn't work, I'm going into the shipping and handling business. I just ordered one of those "as seen on TV" nuclear age oven things. It' only 72 payments of $1.29 each. AND, you get 2 plasma screen TV's with it. You only pay shipping and handling. Incidentally, s & h is $429.99 each. And there's a bonus of a power cord! It comes free with 79.95 s and h. Now this thing will never go on board a ship, so who are they kidding. Ships don't run from Ohio to Georgia. When I retire, I'm moving to Ohio. I'll save a bundle on shipping and handling. Just tell me where you are. I'll come get it. That's ok. I can afford airfare, but not shipping and handling. You know what handling is. They pay two idiots to toss it back and forth a couple of times. That's why you need shipping and handling insurance.
I will probably get the Serutan ads. Spelled backwards, it's Natures. It was a laxative which naturally relives, make that relieves constipation, much like my blog. My blog will unclog your blog, guaranteed. Then there's the Geritol Elixir for that get up and go feeling! And take Sominex tonite and sleep, safe and restful sleep, sleep sleep. Then you go running for the shelter of your mothers little helper, to wake you back up. The Lawrence Whelp crowd had to be on something. How else could you listen to that music. Aren't they wonderful?! Just lovely! There's the Exlax commercial where the guy is a regular (get it) at the mobile library. The librarian is all into the comings and goings of his alimentary canal, so on his return visit, she asks, "Read any good books lately?" And there's the couple out walking when the gentlemen starts briskly picking up the pace. she says. "'We're not running a foot race, you know".
Guess I should tear up the medicine cabinet in search of that Sominex. Sominex spelled backwards is Xenimos.
Sleep well, and if you can't, try clicking sheep.