TWITTERPATED IN WASHINGTON

Hello friends, curious fellers and fellerettes,

Let me bore you with a little history. When George Washington ran for president, there of course, was no CNN, NBC, or CRAP. He just told his cherry tree story in all of the town squares, saloons and baseball stadiums he could get to. When Honest Abe ran, they had trains, which were originally invented for baseball, so he could cover much more territory. So Mr. Lincoln went everywhere there were train tracks. Could you imagine if the only people that heard the campaign speeches were the ones that went to the airports to see the candidate get off the plane and make a speech. Most of the people never heard the voice of Abraham Lincoln. Radio was originally invented for baseball only. Besides that, by the time all of the votes were in, the president was already delivering his mid-term state of the union address. Things went on like this for another hundred and fifty years or so, it's not important, until the 1930's when a new invention changed the world! Tom Edison was working on a miraculous serum that would cure TB. Only the patent office mistranscribed the title of the project as TV. So, instead, Tommy went to work on inventing the TV. It was originally designed for baseball. For 17 years baseball was broadcast on TV, but there were no sets to watch TV on and they couldn't figure out how to get the pictures to go thru the wires and come out on the other end. By 1947, they had discovered AIR and started broadcasting over the Air. Also they started broadcasting live. It cost more, but dead actors were less convincing. During the off season, they showed I Love Lucy and the Honeymooners and Lost. Finally in 1959, they ran out of TV shows and starting showing campaign speeches. John Kennedy and Richard Nixon were the first candidates to square off on live TV. Of course Nixon lost, due to that 5 o'clock shadow which regularly showed up at 9 a.m.. This never mattered on radio. In 1968 Richard Nixon ran again, seeing that no Kennedy's were running and Hubert Humphrey looked more like the Pillsbury dough boy. Tricky Richard ran on the sock-it-to-me platform and ran ads on the Laugh-In TV show. He captured the young vote by "appearing" to be cool and saying things like "Sock it to me" or "You bet your bippy", with all of the enthusiasm of a dry fish. . By the 90's Bill-can't define "IT", can't control "IT" Clinton ran for office on the nightclub circuit, proving if you hang out and play saxophone with the boys you can get the young vote. John Kerry tried to run a "you tube" campaign. If he had his own reality show he might have been elected. instead, he was voted, most likely to be Gilligan on the S.S. Minnow. That brings us somewhat up to date.

Finally Barbara Walters can retire! The really with-it politicians are on Twitter! If you don't know what Twitter is, let me explain. It was originally designed for baseball, but may be used to determine the MVP, (most votable politician). .TIME OUT. Once again,friends, I've put my foot in something without really checking to see what it is. The president and some other high muckety mucks are now on Twitter. I assumed you could go online and converse with the "Little "o"". Sorry, Otis (Redding) will always be the Big "O". I'm sure the little "o" would mind . I checked his Twitter page and I'm convinced he does not monitor this. He's probably not reading my blog, as a few others are choosing not to do. Their loss, not mine. Ooops, I got that backwards!.This is very Twitterpating! Actually, it's not, because this word Twitterpated, was coined by Wise Friend Owl in the Bambi movie as he/she explained that everybody gets Twitterpated in the spring. It's a euphemism for falling in love, which is a euphemism for baseball, which is a - whole nuther post. Of course Thumper, the rabbit, is the first to proclaim, "Not me!" Flower, the skunk was not interested either, at least for a minute. Did you know there was a dark version of Bambi? With more dark characters? There was a groundhog, a porcupine and Ronno who tried to take Bambi away from Thunder! So frustrated is more the word. There are a zillion personal questions on the little "O's" Twitter, but zilcho answers. All you get are links to articles. I'm going to his facebook to see what's up! I believe in 2012 or certainly 2016, we will be voting thru Twitter. Do you know they are gathering polling data right now, thru the 5 things applications or the which____are you on facebook. And the "likes this" queue. Of course! What did YOU think it was for?? Things like which of the seven dwarfs are you.Which Our Gang (Little Rascals) member are you? Which Beatle? Which candy bar are you? They base their demographics on all that. By the way all of the Seven Dwarfs are conservatives and the Smurfs are liberals. Sarah Palin is Snow White. And I am a Peter Paul, Mounds/Almond Joy, because "sometimes I feel like a nut - sometimes I don't".

I believe we need to stop vetting and start vamping! Vamping and revamping! No one ever explained vetting. By the time I figured it out, all of the vetting was done and I was still wondering just how fast does John Edward's hair grow and whose side is Joe Biden on?? I think we should have several co-presidents. It's too much to expect one person to make the decisions in all areas for the whole nation. Let's have a Grand Poobah for finance, a Grand Potentate for social isues, a Grand Musketeer for Defense and while he's at it build de fence across de Mexican border. You get de idea? And of course they need a round table to co-ordinate these efforts. They could work evenings, making the "Nights of the Round Table" a monthly affair. Sorry, I should never mention affairs and politics in the same state.

I hope this clears things up for you. If not, let me know. I'll post your complaint on Twitter!

Good night all!!