Sleep tight - Don't let the bed bugs bite!

Hello Dear Friends,

And you are dear, if you read my rag! I always heard that bedtime limerick. It that lim er ick or lime-rick? Don't know. I'm probably misusing it anyway, but I'm not doing this for grades. I had an experience that made me think about it. Getting bit in bed. Because it happened to me - twice. No it wasn't bed bugs. Not Cheryl. Who then? What then?? It was my bed itself! It opened up it's big mouth and tried to swallow me and Cheryl! You see, a while back, we were both suffering with achy joints from a mattress that didn't seem to sag where we sagged. So we thought about getting a new one, for a couple of years. We finally decided we wanted a memory foam mattress, but not one that cost $3,395.00. So I found Bravader online. My mother would often add an er to the end of words or names like, Linder, Rhonder, Atlanter, so Bravader, to avoid law suits. I'm sure they are reading this by now. It came in the mail. The mattress came in two layers folded up in long rectangular boxes. Then the box spring came in another rectangular box about 1 foot by 1 foot by 7 feet. I'm glad I learned Geometry because it's very useful. I'm always saying round, triangular, quadrangle and then there's words with double meanings like square and tubular! The box spring folds down. You've heard the saying, "What folds down, must fold up? Well, it took a few months. Our wonderful new mattress was so soft and comfy, but as time when by it got softer. It got so you would sink so far that you couldn't pull yourself out of it. Then one night it tried to eat us. It folded up and I thought we were goners! I stuck my leg out just in time, which kept it from clamping tight and eventually I wedged my way out. Next night things would be different. We went to bed and wished it so. But the same thing happened again. Drat! So I went out and got slats and installed them. Now our soft cushy mattress is rather firm, but reliable. Bytheway, the bed bug came from the old days when beds were just ropes strung out over a frame in grid form. The tighter the ropes, the less likelihood of having bugs. The bugs would get in the mattress, made of straw, or feathers or marshmallows or whatever, so you made sure it didn't touch the floor or walls so bugs couldn't climb aboard. The four bed legs would stand in a can or a jar lid filled with kerosene so the bugs couldn't crawl up. The other warning should have been, don't smoke in bed, not even to roast the marshmallows. Why do they call these "mallows" that anyway? So, the warning was real. I think my mother said it to be funny. Like Amen, Brother Ben, shot a rooster and killed a hen. No idea what that means.
Subtitle: You May Be Right - I May Be Crazy! - Billy Joel
I finally got to listen to Billy Joel. Mostly good - some so-so. Watching "What About Bob", the other night, I heard Bill Murry say, "There are two kinds of people - those who like Neil Diamond and those who don't" He thought he left his wife because she liked Neil Diamond, instead of her leaving him because of his neurotic, OCD behavior! I suspect it might be like that with Billy Joel. He really is a good entertainer, but I always thought he sounded like other people.
Here's a short list:
You May Be Right - Mick Jagger - Rolling Stones
Piano Man - Harry Chapin - sang "Taxi" and better known "The Cats in the Cradle" (He died like the "Big O". Taxi and Piano were out around 1971-72 and were very similiar - never heard Taxi anymore.
Just the way You Are (and others) - Elton John
Uptown Girl - Frankie Valley - Four Seasons
For the Longest Time and So In Love - one of the old Doo-wop groups
Sometimes has a Beatle-ish sound
He's pretty good no matter who he is imitating.
Ramsey Lewis Trio tip for this post: Save money at restaurants by ordering water with lemon and adding sugar from the table. Lemonade. Also, when you pay the bill, pay the amount of the check and leave valuable coupons as tips, like 5 Junior Roast Beef sandwiches for $5 at Harveys. Or, order one pizza and get one of equal size and number of toppings free at Pizza Nut! That way, he can learn to save also. Always park near the door, facing out!
I know you have big plans for MLK day already, but have you thought about Ground Hogs Day. This year it's on a Monday, but you can celebrate on Friday or Saturday. Most people forget this one, I guess because the marketers haven't found a way to get everyone to buy Ground Hog Day cards or chocolates. I don't know why they can't sell little chocolate Ground Hogs and have a Ground Hog Dance. It would be so cool and in the spirit of diversity, I think we should celebrate! Be sure to watch "Ground Hog Day" with Bill Murray. Bytheway, I don't like Bill Murray! I guess that's why he's in two movies I mentioned in the post, that I like. He is obnoxious in both. So there!

Please consider it. I plan to build my retirement around the promotions. Afterall, someone had to invent Valentines Day. Sleep tight and don't let the bed bite!

disclaimer: if you don't understand some of this, read ALL of the earlier posts. You wouldn't start reading a recipe or an algebra book from the middle would you? I wouldn't at all! If after you read the other posts, you still don't understand, try bull running or working for the IRS.