Shloumping in Fayetteville!

Hello Friends!
Yesterday, I went shloumping in Fayetteville and it changed my life! Shloumping? Well, I sorta went slumming, but was shopping too, so I call it shloumping. My main objective was to get to the doctors office at 2:45. One thing I've learned, I think that's 19 things, so far. Maybe I'll learn another thing in 2009. One thing I learned is when there is some unpleasant business or event, to mix something good with it. When, Jacob, my oldest, was just 2 years old, he cut his ear lobe. It was just dangling! I took him to the emergency room, but on the way, we stopped and got a tootsie pop. It made things a little better. If I ever get injured, please stop by Longhorns and get me a big, thick, juicy steak and a big ole baked potatoe, (help me Quayle). And a real coke! When I went to the dentist, it was Christmas time and the Christmas music made it more pleasant. I stopped at McDonalds and ordered a number one, large. That's a Big Mac with mondo fries, monsoon coke and mom's apple pie. Aka M&M&M&M. My last meal before biting the big one! There's this place I always pass going into Fayetteville on Hwy 54. It;s called Jordan's Salvage or Jordan's Junk, or something like that. It's this shack that's on the block before you get to the Fayetteville Courthouse Square. This shack is filled from floor to ceiling with junk. The double doors are open and you really can't walk inside because it's that full. On the outside, there is junk piled about 7 feet high all the way around the building. The back yard is like that too! There are little paths between the junk that you can walk thru at your own risk. There are no signs or warnings, but the broken glass which seems to decorate these paths, suggest that there is some risk. It's like a junk maize. You could get lost in there! And it really is junk. Take it from someone who knows. I used to go to the county landfill in Lovejoy. Wouldn't you like to live in a town called Love-joy? I can see the towns people brainstorming for names. They might suggest names like hanging dog or break wind, but this dear sweet lady said she would like her home town to be called Love-joy. When I went to the Lovejoy landfill, now there's an oxymoron, I used to drop stuff off and then look for treasures to bring back from the dump. So, I know junk! They had broken plastic chairs. rusted out bed frames, old appliances, parts of bicycles, car wheels, lawn mower wheels and such. They actually had kitchen sinks! And an assortment of toilets. You could pick up an old toilet with the now illegal oversize tank! The one thing I saw that could be a cash and carry item for me was window frames. They had a big selection of window frames, complete with glass, for $5 each, any size. I told the man I'd have to see if my wife would let me have them. She generally frowns on me bringing junk home. We went out with Kelly to Longhorns last night and I was telling them about my shloumping adventure and Cheryl said, "You know, I'd like to get some window frames from that place". I crawled back out from under the table, where I had fallen and listened in disbelief. Kelly said she had a window frame at her house for such a purpose. Oh yeah, my original idea was to hang these on my living room wall with pictures or artwork or something placed in each of the panes. The two people I was with, had already thought of it. The waiter knew about it and the people at the next booth already had one! It appears the most original idea I had was checking with my wife. Back to Longhorns. I figured on one last meal with every thing I wanted, including baked potatoe. (help me Quayle). It was good. A thick juicy Renegade. They say you are what you eat! That's me! The other night I had a Bourbon St steak. Fortunately, that's not me. No, I'm a renegade, a wild and crazy guy! When I was sixteen I used to visit Burger King and get a Whaler (fish sandwich) and a strawberry shake. There were no numbers or combos then. Real men ordered real food by it's name! I ate my whaler and then headed for the highway. I slid behind the wheel of my blue chevy in my t-shirt and cut-offs, with my strawberry shake. The Young Rascals was blaring on the cassette player and I was - devil may care - barefooted. That was double rebellion! Perhaps, re-rebellion! Was I worried about being caught? Heck no! I was a Renegade!
Back to shloumping! I went to Barns and Nobles, didn't see either one there. Then I went to Best Buys. That's where I struck gold. I found THE Otis Redding CD! Not this Dock in the Bay stuff! That's a good song, his biggest hit. It was released right before or after his death, which always pumps up a good song. But DIB was not representative of his complete body of work. Otis Redding died in a plane crash on December 10 1967. For two years after his demise, they kept playing new hits by Otis Redding. He and Elvis are probably playing golf on some island with John Kennedy and Marilyn Monroe! He was 26 years old when he "died". I was 13. My sister, Martha, had a great deal of influence over my music appreciation. She was 4 years older than I and ripe for American Bandstand. She had a little green transistor radio. Translate cordless! You could get Chubby Checker, Fats Domino, Neil Sedaka, Ricky Nelson and all the greats. She was a Beatle fanatic, with posters albums, cards, Beatle comb and all of that. She had an Otis Redding album that was tops. In the last few years, I had my eyes out for that. I bought a cd, which was good, but not the same. Yesterday, I found "Love Man". Twelve of the greatest hits, ever, from the "Big O". There was one Vietnamese guy in our school, Kim Snyder, and he had a red MG Midget, which is a tiny 2 seater sports car. It was for sale! He gave me a ride in it. I loved it! This little go-kart of a car, with loud muffler, four on the floor, top down, undulating tachometer! I loved it all! But to top it all off the "Big O" was on the radio, singing "Direct Me", a really cool piece of East Coast music. I never forgot it! I finally got a red Sebring convertible, not quite the same heart throbbing effect of the little Midget, but it suits me well. I also now I have Otis Redding on the cd as he should be. Everyone says it's a midlife crisis, but it started at about about age 14 when my cousin from Michigan came down with his 64 Lemans 4 speed convertible. It was a step down from the GTO, nevertheless, very cool. I loved the car. So it's a lifelong crisis!
One day while shloumping in McDonough at the Salvation Army store, I found a box full of cassette tapes for a couple of bucks, which I was glad to part with. It contained Byrds, Chicago, CCR, Paul Simon, Hall and Oates? and 3 Billy Joel tapes. I became a Billy Joel fan. Cool? Maybe not, but I liked it. The best tape broke. I thought about returning it, but it would take $4 worth of gas to get my 13 cents back. So I finally replaced it with a cd. I haven't listened to it yet, but it will be great! I know. Then I went to Big Lots to do the domestic thing and look at knives and tumblers. Then it was time for the doctors office. I was prepared for the worst. But not the 2 hour wait. nonetheless, I was thankful that I was not sick and miserable for those two hours. I was prepared to have to spend $300 a month for blood pressure, blood sugar, and triglyceride reducing meds. I was expecting him to say it's a miracle you made it this far, but perhaps I can restore you to some quality of life! But he didn't! He gave me the mildest bp med and put me on probation. If I can lose 140 pounds in 3 weeks, I should be just fine! I am now motivated! Starting January 1st, I am a changed man! I will eat right, drink right, sleep right, think right, write right. But until then...I'll do my worst! My mother used to say "Phooey on the Write-Right!" She used to work for that company. They made writing tablets as they used to call them. I guess that was her expression when she got aggravated with them. She was still saying that 40 years after she left them!
The Walt Lewis Project is officially under construction! Improvements to come! Update to the nearest version. Delete the old one! 2009 should be a great year!

Here's to starvation! Hope y'all have a great day and find something to be happy about!
Remember, Jesus loves you!


disclaimer: if you don't understand some of this, read ALL of the earlier posts. You wouldn't start reading a recipe or an algebra book from the middle would you? I wouldn't at all! If after you read the other posts, you still don't understand, try bull running or working for the IRS.