Landmark Day!

Hello friends!
I got tagged, for the first time, in real life, as a senior citizen! Sorry to burst your bubble. I know most you think I'm slowly approaching forty, but apparently to some people, I must look 55, which I happen to be. No shame in looking your age. I was at Wendys, ordering my Baconator (with small sides) and the lady rung me up as a senior citizen. I was delighted, when she had me look at the screen and I saw the 10 percent discount! Yippie. I wonder who else does that. By the way, the medium sides would be enough food and drink to get you across the Mohave Desert! Not the big one out west. I'm talking about the little one just south of Hahira. It's spelled the same but pronounced Mo-hayv Desert. You know at the office, they are still replying-all for Zoo Atlanta tickets. If you're lost on this, go back a few posts or just skip it. There was one that said "I want tickets". Then there was another admonishing EVERYONE to not reply-all this back with silly remarks, as some have, bc EVERYONE gets this. Read MANAGEMENT. Thanks for the extra 2017 emails in the system. Then another emails, I want tickets too. There will be a conservative in the White House b4 we get Zoo tickets again. AND, there is only 25 sets of them to begin with.
When I got the mail today, there was a card from my friends at the funeral home. I won't say which one bc they were really very nice when we needed them. I still can't say I love going there. What I received was an offer to pre-purchase a funeral package at about half the price of a regular funeral, including casket, vault, preparation all the bells and whistles, even destination charges, but no rebates. Personally, I'd like to see something in wicker! Or how about a swinging casket. You could sit with your loved one and drift and flow back and fourth and have pleasant memories. I dreamed that I was going to cremated and Pastor Butch was going to officiate. He laid me out on this big BBQ grill. I do love the grill. That's probably the way I want to go. I want to "Glow When I Go". I wonder if the funeral home marketing folks could use my services. The other thing that was cool about this limited offer (lifetime offer would sound crude), is there is no physical examination required. I'm not kidding! There are no disqualifying preconditions. You can die now and pay later. What a deal. I'm getting my friends this for Christmas! Starting with the older ones, of course. Even mail time can be fun!
Green Section: Oh, when I was a kid, the newspaper on Saturday, had a green sheet. This section of paper was actually green. You could pull it out and read the tv page, which consisted of programming for all three stations and the funny page and crossword puzzle.. The green thing I wanted to tell you about is pearls. No, not green pearls. My dad was telling me that they give oysters a disease that makes them form pearls a lot faster than normal. It's probably something like milk that calcifies the little buggers. If the green people find out they'll probably try to protect the poor oysters. Why can't they transplant pearlets into a larger animal like a rabbit or a carp and then give them steroids? I guess brighter minds than mine have already tried. The Indians had the right idea and just strung corn. The greenies probably find that offensive too.
Let's get off the serious stuff and move on to lighter prose. When radio talk show host Ludlow Porch, a great southern character, was asked what he would like to have played at his funeral, he thought for a moment and said :Volleyball would be nice". I hope they do that whenever his time comes. The other near end quote I love was from Bob Hope. When in his last days, his wife Delores asked him in which of the two prominent cemeterys he wanted to buried, he just smiled and said "Suprise me!".

sigining off..have a lovely evening! .