Ulukpo

Hi guys,
I'm thinking of changing my name, to Ulukpo. Pronounced U Look Po. It's a real name. He's got a brother, Mepotoo. And a sister Mesopo. That's enough! Four bad jokes in a row and it's over! A guy I knew in Junior High told a joke that goes like this. What do you call a nation where all of the cars are pink. A pink carnation. He told the same joke with the color green, blue, purple...after about the fifth color I started recognizing a pattern. No flies on me. Okay, maybe some.
Nothing funny happened on the way to the forum today! I'm in the middle of working my 4/10 shifts. Four ten hour days in a row, Saturday, Sunday, Monday and Tuesday. Then I have the rest of the week off! I've some fun things lined up to do. I have a two hour dental cleaning, belt to change on my Sebring, shop for a grave marker, give blood for testing and some other less pleasant things. If you have time and want to join me just holler. I might let someone sit in for the dental appointment. I don't enjoy the dentist too much. But let me tell you it is a walk in the park compared to my childhood visits. Way back in the deep recesses of the previous century, when everything was in black and white, I, a very small and helpless child was forced, albeit bodily dragged to the dental dungeon. I'm not sure about albeit, but it seems to work here. I looked it up. it means through and through. Sounds a little redundant. It is my goal to not only inform, hopefully entertain, but last and least of all to ejucate. I was so scared and trembling uncontrollably at the prospect of this place. You see I was an evil child. Always doing what I should not. Always sneaking into the sugar barrel and eating sugar lumps the size of my small fist. So I deserved to be deposited there in that chamber of horror. First they strap you into this primevil barber chair. The barber shop was scary enough, with the deer heads on the wall. I wondered what had they done! Was it worse than raiding the sugar barrel? Afterall a barber is just a dental school reject. They probably took band instead of physical education too. There were some unsettling experiences there too. Fortunately there was always someone scrawnier than me to go through the worst of it. One guy they called Casper was so small he could turn sideways and disappear.The dental dungeon. You sat in the waiting room and read those highlights magazines. Some of these still had the old cave address stickers on the back. They strapped you in this chair, because otherwise, I would have bolted through the nearest opening, be it a coal chute, rat hole or even a sewer pipe. They slide over this tray with all manor of instruments of terror. Sharp things and clamps. Then comes the chart, like a giant report card with lots of "F's" on it. Doom! Five, six hah, hah, seven eight hah hah hah, nine rotten cavernous cavities. Then comes the drill. oops, leave something out? The novacaine? With the quarter inch footlong needle and the football pump syringe? Nope. My machinist with the monster of dentistry diploma on the wall, did not believe evil sugar snatching urchins should receive Novocaine. He believed that if we went through the shear unbridled terror of raw dentistry, we would become sugarophobic. But seven year olds have such short memories and weak resolve. Then they would start with the drilling, the insane whining screeching drilling! I believe I qualify to run for president. I wanted so badly for John McCain to win! He had been through so much. Not as much as I, especially when you count the child factor. I would have gladly donated my teeth to science and just sent my false teeth to the dentist for whatever cleaning and repairs they needed. I still have some of the old fillings. You know they still have mercury in them after all of these years. The fish oil I was taking was drawing out some of the mercury, making everything taste like metal. I had to give it up. Reminds me of the guy who ate a 1958 Pontiac. Now that's a large car. He ground it up and ate a spoonful or so every day. You don't want to go through the airport security behind this guy. He started when the car was new and just finished consummation in 1993. Of course he has to go for emissions inspection every year. He likes to toot his own horn. Just because he has a leather seat and a chrome tailpipe.
Good night, Uluksobrok